Today, I subbed at West Rich Kid Middle School. I'm subbing 7th grade Language Arts for TWO WHOLE DAYS! That's a first for me!
Of course it was raining today and no one in Louisiana knows how to drive in the rain. Then I got caught behind a dump truck. Got to the school and found two of the other teachers in the room. The teacher had not left lesson plans (stomach virus) so they were improvising for me. I instantly recognized one of the teachers as MRS. DILLINGHAM!! (One of David's old teachers for those who don't know) BTW...she wanted me to let my mom and dad know that she always thought that they were awesome and eccentric parents and loved their kids then and now! She even has a senior pic of David in her current classroom. So we chatted for a while about who was where and doing what. It took her a minute to realize who I'm married to. She doted on Matt for a bit too.
Then, the students came in. BUM BUM BUM! Actually, they were pretty good. The first class told me that they would probably be my worst class, but they were kittens, MERE KITTENS I SAY, in comparison to some of the classes I've taught. They had to watch an educational video and write notes about it. Bore town. They also had fundraiser pamphlets to be passed out which meant I got asked to buy magazines and chocolate all day because obviously teachers, especially subs, are all rich. Then there was a fundraiser assembly second hour. Boring.
Third hour was pretty good. Then came fourth hour. Fourth hour tried their absolute hardest to make me punish them. I feel my job as a sub is to make sure that no one maims or kills themselves or anyone else. And that they don't get themselves or me in trouble with other teachers. But the insisted on being loud, being out of their seats, opening the classroom door, throwing paper (which made me quite angry), and asking if they could take their phones out (which I am required to say no to) etc. So I sat them all down...forcefully....and informed them that if they didn't chill out I'd have to make them do real work, I'd be really mean to them tomorrow, and I'd have to tell their teacher that they were all crazy and needed to be tranqued. They chilled out after that.
I don't even really remember what happened in fifth hour except that a kid came up to me and started this conversation.
Kid: I have a serious question to ask you.
Kid: Don't laugh at it though.
Me: (a little more hesitant) oookkkk
Kid: Are you a witch? Like if I pour this water on you, will you melt?
Me: No, I'm a Christian. But I'll punch you if you pour that on me.
Then he walked away. WHAT????? I was utterly confused.
6th hour I had off and 7th hour had to get the same spiel I gave 4th. They were also trying to ruin their day off.
Sooooo....in order to not watch the same STUPID video about research and veterinarians and Hoover dam blah blah blah I'm bringing a choice of kid friendly DVD's that will hopefully entrance them and make them behave.
Ohhh yeah, I finished my book before lunch which made the rest of the day 0% fun. Blergh!! I'll never make that mistake again! If I'm close to the end of the book I will DEFINITELY bring another one with me.