1-26-12

Today, I subbed at West Rich Kid Middle School. I'm subbing 7th grade Language Arts for TWO WHOLE DAYS! That's a first for me!

Of course it was raining today and no one in Louisiana knows how to drive in the rain. Then I got caught behind a dump truck. Got to the school and found two of the other teachers in the room. The teacher had not left lesson plans (stomach virus) so they were improvising for me. I instantly recognized one of the teachers as MRS. DILLINGHAM!! (One of David's old teachers for those who don't know) BTW...she wanted me to let my mom and dad know that she always thought that they were awesome and eccentric parents and loved their kids then and now! She even has a senior pic of David in her current classroom. So we chatted for a while about who was where and doing what. It took her a minute to realize who I'm married to. She doted on Matt for a bit too.

Then, the students came in. BUM BUM BUM! Actually, they were pretty good. The first class told me that they would probably be my worst class, but they were kittens, MERE KITTENS I SAY, in comparison to some of the classes I've taught. They had to watch an educational video and write notes about it. Bore town. They also had fundraiser pamphlets to be passed out which meant I got asked to buy magazines and chocolate all day because obviously teachers, especially subs, are all rich. Then there was a fundraiser assembly second hour. Boring.

Third hour was pretty good. Then came fourth hour. Fourth hour tried their absolute hardest to make me punish them. I feel my job as a sub is to make sure that no one maims or kills themselves or anyone else. And that they don't get themselves or me in trouble with other teachers. But the insisted on being loud, being out of their seats, opening the classroom door, throwing paper (which made me quite angry), and asking if they could take their phones out (which I am required to say no to) etc. So I sat them all down...forcefully....and informed them that if they didn't chill out I'd have to make them do real work, I'd be really mean to them tomorrow, and I'd have to tell their teacher that they were all crazy and needed to be tranqued. They chilled out after that.

I don't even really remember what happened in fifth hour except that a kid came up to me and started this conversation.

Kid: I have a serious question to ask you.
Me: Ok...
Kid: Don't laugh at it though.
Me: (a little more hesitant) oookkkk
Kid: Are you a witch? Like if I pour this water on you, will you melt?
Me: No, I'm a Christian. But I'll punch you if you pour that on me.

Then he walked away. WHAT????? I was utterly confused.

6th hour I had off and 7th hour had to get the same spiel I gave 4th. They were also trying to ruin their day off.

Sooooo....in order to not watch the same STUPID video about research and veterinarians and Hoover dam blah blah blah I'm bringing a choice of kid friendly DVD's that will hopefully entrance them and make them behave.

Ohhh yeah, I finished my book before lunch which made the rest of the day 0% fun. Blergh!! I'll never make that mistake again! If I'm close to the end of the book I will DEFINITELY bring another one with me.

1-25-12

Yesterday, I was at Red Neck Middle School. They were ROWDY! Not a lot of funny things happened. I got kind of angry with them.

Today though, I subbed at Rich Kids Middle School. They were pretty well behaved. I got TOTALLY lost on the way there this morning though. Google Maps left me in the middle of a field saying that I was at a school that wasn't even there anymore. So I called the main office and let them know I was lost somewhere behind a plant and there was a guy sitting on a porch of a dilapidated house with no shirt on staring me down hard. I was pretty sure I was about to be killed by some hill people. Then I snaked my way through a neighborhood that was nothing but dead ends. I'm pretty sure I was in a paradox at some point because I drove in a square that was all dead ends. There may be a worm hole in the country now. I finally got there with 15 minutes til the bell still. Go me! This school had a really nice set up for subs. You get a folder when you walk in with ALL of your instructions. And they have sub feedback cards.

These kids were all pretty nice and we had a good ol time. I told them stories about the various scary places there are in Monroe like the never ending road and the abandoned KNOE tower. I got more notes that said Mrs. Lay = Mrs. Awesome. I had some students want to add me as a friend on my teacher Facebook and some of the girls took pictures with me! It was fun! I was going to have lunch with my super awesome cousin Joey, but I had to leave at 11:45. =( The sub across the hall from me was also my age and she also had notes on the board about how much the kids loved her. We were partners in work shirking! I informed all the students that Joey was my cousin. I hope he got cool points for that.

In my third hour class there was an aid. Somehow we got into a discussion about Angelina Jolie's lips. He was under the impression that they looked good. I informed him of his misunderstanding. Then the girl students and I had a laugh at the expense of duckface and other stupid model poses.

Then I went out to East Redneck High School for two hours. I got to see my favorite piano class! The power went out because of the storm which freaked some people out. I love those piano classes because they take care of themselves. We played piano and chatted. I told them subbing stories. Definitely a good sub day!

1-23-12

Today, I subbed at Giganto High. I parked at the exact opposite corner of the school that I needed to be. Imagine a square and then imagine the diagonal corners opposite from each other. I was at one corner and the main office was at the other. Then it was a nice long trek through 5 wings to the history wing where I taught Civics.

The classes where pretty good. I got hit on BLATANTLY by a 15 year old. Then he told me he was about to have a kid. It made me sad bigtime. The other students confirmed that he was indeed about to be a baby-daddy.

According to the kids, I taught them at a quicker pace than their normal teacher. And I gave them a good lesson in active voting. The first class found out that I sing opera and asked me to sing. So I had them vote, and only with a majority vote would I sing. I then informed them that apathy counted as a no vote, which actually made ALL the students vote. (They all voted yes too.) So I sang some opera for them. Then in third hour, someone said "Will you sing for us too?" So word had spread. And spread to 4th and 7th hour. So I got to sing for kids today.

In sixth hour, I had the freshmen class. They were kind of a bummer. I think they were tired because they just sat there. But, one kid did say something blatantly racist which I replied to with this: http://i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/002/135/sw50sw8sw578.gif I literally replied to it with that exact picture on the SmartBoard.

I think other things happened, but I am distracted by 30 Rock. I like Giganto High.

1-19-12

I subbed for 7th grade science today! (Half day woot woot!) At the school I was at, they bring around veggie cups in first hour for the students to eat. I was highly confused by this because I have never even heard of it. The guy bringing them in couldn't understand why I was so confused. He finally just handed me a box. Thankfully the students knew what was happening. They also has microphones that the teacher wears around their neck. Thank goodness for that because I have been sick for 4 days. I coughed a lot.

I got asked some interesting things. "Do you have kids?" "Do you want kids?" "Why are you so white?" "Are you from France?" I especially liked that one. I have no idea where it came from, but I lol-ed.

At one point, I was telling the students to whisper. I made the mistake of saying "I don't care what you are saying, just whisper it." So at an inopportune moment of silence one kid whispers "Ok, I love you" to which the whole class erupts in laughter and has to be quieted down. But it was pretty funny. Several make students said other male students wanted my number to which "nah ah!!!" was usually replied.

A lot of the students knew students that I student taught with and had lots of questions about them. They had also heard about my tirade in one of the classes. Overall, it was a rather enjoyable experience. I laughed a lot which I always enjoy.

Catch Up

Well, I started subbing about 2 weeks ago. So here are the highlights.

High School is my zone. Elementary is FRIGHTENING!! Middle school is also scary, but less so.

Country kids are polite and students you think hated you actually like you when you come back.

I am supposedly the best sub ever and have been requested (by students) to sub all the time.